


In Defense of Tradition.

by electricteatime



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Christmas traditions, DGHDA Brave New Year Reverse Bang 2020, Domestic, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Todd is smitten, and so is Dirk for that matter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 23:08:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28982376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/electricteatime/pseuds/electricteatime
Summary: “What does it taste like?” He inclines his head towards the muffin. “Christmas?”“Oh,” Dirk frowns, popping another piece into his mouth and chewing thoughtfully. “Cinnamon,” he grimaces. “Definitelycinnamon.”Behind the rim of his mug, Todd laughs.***Todd has never really seen Christmas as a big deal, at least not since Amanda got too old to believe in Santa and the whole thing kind of lost it's magic. It's safe to say he doesn't really bother with it, past some small gifts to family and a few drinks to mark the occasion. This year is different though, because despite everything hehasexperienced, Dirk has never had a Christmas before. Ever. And suddenly Todd finds himself wanting to get everything right, even with his seasonal woes. There's only one real problem though, the biggest Christmas dilemma that he could possibly have to face.What the hell kind of Christmas present do you buy for Dirk Gently?
Relationships: Todd Brotzman/Dirk Gently
Comments: 7
Kudos: 40
Collections: DGHDA Brave New Year Reverse Bang 2020





	In Defense of Tradition.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello folks! I can only apologise for my prolonged absence, but I think we can all agree that 2020 is a year that we're glad to see the back of. In true DGHDA style, we're sending it off with a bang!
> 
> This is my (slightly late!) entry for the DGHDA New Year Reverse Bang this year, and it comes from some wonderful art from my co-creator [Sacred-Algae](https://sacred-algae.tumblr.com/) that you can find [here!](https://sacred-algae.tumblr.com/) Thank you for being so patient with me, and for being a wonderfully talented and inspiring partner to work with!
> 
> Thanks also to [dont-offend-the-bees](https://dont-offend-the-bees.tumblr.com/) for being a wonderful friend and mod, shepherding us through these years of bangs. You totally deserve your rest <3
> 
> And of course to my wonderful new co-mods over at the [DGHDA Big Bang Tumblr](https://dghdabigbang.tumblr.com/), I'm so looking forward to running this with you!!

"It's _November_." Todd says, sounding incredibly bitter and distracting Dirk from his very important work inspecting the coffee shops display of muffins. "Jesus _Christ._ "

"What's November?" Dirk asks, sparing him a glance because he must admit, a grumpy Todd is often one of his favourite sights, especially with his nose red from the cold and a ridiculous blue beanie resentfully shoved onto his head. He smiles to himself before turning back to the cake display, weighing up his options.

"They're playing Christmas songs _already_ ," he huffs, and Dirk nods as he recognises this as a Todd-favourite rant: Music Complaints. "They're not even good songs. Nobody who made these gave a shit about anything other than making money at the expense of anyone who has fucking _ears._ "

"I think they're cheery."

Todd snorts, rolling his eyes. "You _would_. Spend a Christmas working retail and then see how you feel."

Dirk grins as he straightens up, apparently satisfied with his muffin choosing and the current level of grumpy frown Todd is wearing. "What do you think a Christmas Muffin tastes like?"

It takes Todd a moment to catch up, shooting Dirk a sidelong glance before he adds one to their order. He'd caught on a while ago that Dirk doesn't really have much of a tendency to actually _ask_ for things, it's either a straight up _theft_ or he'll float a suggestion he hopes someone will take him up on. Unfortunately for Todd, he falls for it every time.

They’re sequestered in a cosy corner of the cafe before Dirk speaks up again, peeling the fondant christmas trees off of his muffin and watching out of the window with a distracted air. 

“I’ve never done it.”

Todd chokes on the coffee he had been sipping, coughing a few times before asking with the kind of wide-eyed hesitance he’s come to use around Dirk, “done what?”

“Christmas. _Obviously_.”

“Oh.” Todd settles back into his chair, fixing Dirk with a look that he studiously ignores. “How come?”

“Various things, really. I’m sure I _did_ , when I was young, but if so I can’t remember. Blackwing wasn’t particularly fond of celebration, and once I left…” Dirk shrugs. “I worked a _lot_ of cases.” 

Todd hums, shifting in his seat as he leans forward, cupping both hands around his mug. “You’re not missing much. I mean, it’s fun when you’re kids or there’s kids around. And family, I guess? But it’s kinda just… I dunno. I think people want it to mean more than it does.”

“In my experience,” Dirk speaks around a mouthful of thoroughly disassembled muffin, “things mean what you want them to, and sometimes what you don’t.”

There’s a moment where Todd looks at him like he can’t decide if he thinks he’s just said something very wise or very stupid, before he shakes his head and goes back to his coffee.

“What does it taste like?” He inclines his head towards the muffin. “Christmas?”

“Oh,” Dirk frowns, popping another piece into his mouth and chewing thoughtfully. “Cinnamon,” he grimaces. “ _Definitely_ cinnamon.”

Behind the rim of his mug, Todd laughs.

***

It’s mid December before Todd acts on the thought that has slowly been turning over in his head since their conversation. He’d still felt uncertain about it as he started putting ideas together, unsure if he was overstepping or making the wrong move, but it was a few days earlier when they’d headed downtown for a case and Dirk had audibly _gasped_ at the sight of the giant tree in the square when he’d known for sure it was a good idea. 

The tree is small, it has to be for their apartment, they don’t have the room for anything big, but he manages to find a corner to stand it in anyway once he’s won the fight with the wired branches to get it into a recognisable shape. He sets the rest of his purchases down next to it, numerous things that shine and glitter and- god help him- _light up_ overflowing the box he’d put them all in. There’s a part of him that wants to get it over and done with, give in to the fact that apparently he’s bothering to decorate for christmas now, but that would rather defy the whole _point_ of getting everything together in the first place so instead he just sighs, shaking his head at himself as he flops down onto the sofa and tries to ignore his nerves. 

Dirk arrives a few hours later in a flurry of hand gestures and wide eyes, rambling on about… _something_ that Todd can’t quite keep up with and is fairly sure isn’t that important. He nods along anyway, barely managing to decipher something about a cat, a pancake, and a very angry bus driver when Dirk stutters to a halt and just _stares_ at the corner with such an intensity that Todd (not for the first time) finds himself glad Dirk doesn’t have laser vision. 

“Todd,” he asks, not tearing his eyes away. “Is that… a _Christmas tree_?”

“I-” Todd finds himself looking over to the corner, finding himself suddenly self conscious as he shrugs at the question. “Uh, yeah? I kinda thought, you know. Maybe we could decorate it or something? I mean, we don’t have to, but I got some stuff and you seemed to like the other one so… I don’t know. If you want.” 

“If I _want_?” Dirk’s voice suggests he might think Todd has lost his mind. “ _Todd_. Have I ever told you that you’re the _best_ assistant _ever_?! You got a whole _tree_!”

“I mean, they’re not exactly hard to find?”

The comment is lost on Dirk who seems to have broken out of his tree induced trance in favour of digging through the box and pulling out lengths of tinsel with no small amount of enthusiasm. Despite himself Todd finds his shoulders relaxing, smile creeping onto his face as he watches him manage to tangle himself up in the lights. 

“Are you coming to decorate too?” Dirk asks from below an ever growing pile of baubles, frowning at the lights that keep getting stuck on his jacket. 

“Oh, is that what you’re doing?” He pushes himself up from the couch either way, taking the tangle of lights off of Dirk and starting to unpick them with the kind of patience he knows the other man doesn’t possess. 

“Well I’m _trying_ ,” he huffs, shaking glitter out of his hair. “This is a _lot_ harder than it looks.”

“It’s not _that_ hard.” Todd hands one end of the lights back over to him. “Lights first, then tinsel, then… everything else.” He shrugs, plugging his end of the lights in and starting to wrap them around the tree. “Whatever’s left over you kinda just… put places.”

“Hmm, you sound like something of an expert in the matter.”

“Yeah well, Amanda loved doing the tree at christmas. Kinda had to make a plan of attack if it wasn’t going to end in disaster.” He steps back once the lights are on, adjusting a few bits here and there to make sure they’re evenly spaced before tilting his head towards the box. “Rest is yours. Don’t knock it over.”

“I _won’t!_ ” It’s indignant, but forgotten quickly in the excited way Dirk attacks the decorations with an amount of unrestrained glee he usually reserves for giant fancy milkshakes or pancake breakfasts. More than anything it’s watching him haphazardly throw tinsel over the thing that reassures Todd in a way he hadn’t known he’d needed, letting himself be directed by Dirk to put baubles here and there- _no Todd, there!_ \- until eventually their little tree is thoroughly bedecked and possibly holding more than its own weight in glitter. 

Dirk stands back with his hands on his hips, a pleased smile spread warmly across his face as he takes in the abomination.

Todd lets him for a moment, picking up the last piece and turning it over in his hands thoughtfully. 

“You want to put the star on top?” He holds it out, an offering of sorts, and when Dirk takes it it’s with a reverence Todd isn’t sure a piece of shiny plastic deserves.

“ _Absolutely_. But it’s _very_ high, I think I might need you to give me a boost!” 

Todd fixes him with a fond, but unimpressed glare. “I’ll give you a _chair_.”

Dirk sighs dramatically, tipping his head back as Todd pulls one of their dining chairs over, already questioning if this was the best idea. “ _Fine_. Spoilsport.”

Still, he scrambles onto the chair with a characteristic lack of grace, leaning over dangerously to reach the top as he somehow manages to balance the star in place without dropping it _or_ himself on the floor. It’s a small miracle really, when one wrong move is all it would have taken to bring the whole thing crashing down around them and Dirk is _ever_ so good at wrong moves like that. It’s worth it though, it all is, for the look on his face when Todd turns on the lights. 

It’s certainly not the most well decorated tree ever, nothing matches and the placement of everything is haphazard at best, but looking at it Todd can’t help but feel that nothing else would feel as right as this does. 

And looking at the proud sense of wonder on Dirk’s face, he can’t help but feel that nothing else would feel as right as that does either.

***

Christmas creeps closer without Todd really noticing. In the week or so since they’d put the tree up Dirk has taken to decorating with the kind of enthusiasm Todd both fully expected and wasn’t entirely equipped to deal with. Every time he comes home there’s more tinsel, a garland where there wasn’t before, a bowl full of candy canes Dirk _insists_ are for their clients but have yet to make their way down to the office and are slowly depleting anyway. 

He wants to be mad about it, he really does, but there’s something just… _nice_ about being harassed into making peppermint hot chocolate and dragged to the sofa to watch Christmas films every other night. Dirk is unrelenting in a way that Todd only really puts up a token fight to, and when he realises that Dirk has bought himself multiple sets of matching winter themed pyjamas he can’t say his eye roll is really anything other than fond. 

There’s a part of him that maybe feels a little proud of all of it. The fact that Dirk has decided for whatever reason that he wants to spend his first christmas with him. The fact that he’d managed to introduce him to something that made him so happy, no matter how simple it is. It’s all adding to the glowing warmth that seems to live in his chest these days whenever he sees Dirk smile or catches him humming along to christmas carols and getting the words all wrong. He’s been ignoring it, and he’s doing his best to ignore it now because this- _all_ of this- it isn’t about him. It’s getting harder not to think about it though, not when Dirk has taken to cuddling up next to him on the sofa when they’re watching movies, or how he’s noticed the way his eyes light up whenever Todd indulges him in his ridiculous schemes. It’s something that’s been going on for a while now, even if he can’t pinpoint _when_ it started exactly, and he thinks that maybe- just _maybe_ it might be worth following up on at some point.

Not today though, and certainly not right _now_ , because it’s three days until christmas and Todd _still_ hasn’t managed to find anything to give Dirk. 

It’s a combination of a number of small cases keeping them busy, and the growing panic he’s been ignoring because he has _no_ idea what he’s supposed to get him that’s kept him from even really trying until now. There’s a part of Todd that wishes he’d started earlier, but there’s a bigger part of him that knows it wouldn’t have made any difference because despite being the only person Todd can think of that would probably be delighted by _whatever_ he was given, he can’t even begin to imagine how to give him something he deserves. 

Dirk of course has been unsuccessfully sneaking around for a while now. Todd has mostly let him pretend he’s being stealthy, only calling him out on it to watch him stutter through an explanation that makes no sense before having mercy and letting him go. It’s cute, really, and somewhat _terrifying_ that Dirk has worked out what to get him and it’s currently hidden in one of their kitchen cupboards that’s just out of Todd’s reach. He’s wondered grumpily over the last few days if Dirk’s abilities will have helped him out with _that_ too, and cursed his own lack of imagination for failing to give him anything to go off at all.

It has to be perfect, is the thing. This is Dirk’s first christmas, and Todd has been trying to make it as good as he can so far but when it comes to gifts… If Dirk has never done christmas before then Todd is fairly sure he’s never had a christmas _present_ before, which is both added pressure Todd _really_ doesn’t need, and all the more reason he needs to get it _right_. Getting things right isn't exactly one of Todd's specialities though, and that feeling only grows more and more obvious as time wears on. He spends hours clicking through online shops in his spare time, looking at everything from the most garishly over-the-top christmas themed bullshit, to lists of the most out there gift ideas there are. None of it fits. There's nothing that Buzzfeed can offer him that would be something worth giving to Dirk, nothing that would feel like the right thing to let Dirk know exactly how much he means to him. He knows that whatever Dirk has gotten him is going to be something he'll end up treasuring, no matter how _ridiculous_ (which truly is a risk), and Todd _desperately_ wants to do the same for him. Sometimes he really wishes he was enough of an asshole to give everyone socks and have done with it, but if there's one thing the truly astonishing amount of open tabs his laptop is merrily beaming back at him it's that those days have long since passed.

***

The idea comes when they're watching a movie. Todd can't honestly say what it's called, Dirk's recent forays into every Christmas themed film he could get his hands on have all seemed like the same one over and over again to him. He's paying more attention to Dirk than the film, listening to him ramble on about the clearly fake snow falling down on fake New York and how cosy and lovely everyone looks, wondering when he'd gotten so used to Dirk's head resting on his shoulder, the both of them cuddled up under a blanket Dirk had found god only knows where.

"It's very romantic," Dirk says, and Todd startles, feeling himself freeze up as he turns to look at the top of Dirk's head.

"What?"

"The snow! The kissing! The _Christmassyness_!" Todd feels himself relax, wondering if there's any way to stop his heart beating a mile a minute now it's started and knowing it's unlikely. "I just think it's all... _nice_."

"I... I _guess,_ " he hazards, brow furrowing at the thought. "It's all a bit cliche though, right?"

"Cliches are cliches for a _reason_ , Todd. Clearly enough people thought it was all _very_ lovely enough to make _multiple_ movies about it." He can practically _feel_ Dirk rolling his eyes in that overly exasperated way of his. "Besides, _you're_ one to talk."

That trips him up, confusion slipping into indigence as he stumbles over his words. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?!"

"You're the sidekick of an _amazingly_ good detective with _superpowers_ , Todd. Not exactly original."

"You- I am not your _sidekick_!"

" _Aren't_ you though?" Dirk is grinning, he can _feel_ it.

"God, you're _such_ an asshole."

"Now Todd, that's not very nice."

Todd shoves him off the couch, taking an incredibly petty amount of delight in the yelp that follows as he tumbles to the ground, taking the blanket with him.

It takes a few moments before Dirk manages to untangle himself, popping up from amidst the blanket pile with an incredulously offended look on his face that matches perfectly with his newly ruffled hair.

"You _pushed_ me!"

"You _deserved_ that."

Dirk huffs, narrowing his eyes at Todd just long enough for him to know he's plotting before he reaches out to grab his ankle and drag him off the couch too. Todd yelps, but it's too late to stop it, and he crashes down in an undignified mess onto the floor below.

"See? It's not very nice, is it?" Dirk sticks his tongue out at him, and that's all it takes for Todd to launch himself at him like he's eight years old and play-fighting his friends again.

"You're an _asshole._ " He says, but the words do nothing to disguise his laughter as their fight devolves into half-hearted slapping and something dangerously close to giggles.

"You started it!" Dirk protests, jabbing Todd in the ribs one last time before flopping down onto his back on the floor. Todd joins him, not even attempting to hide the grin on his face as they lie there trying to catch their breath. It's quiet in the room, other than the sounds of the movie trailing on in the background, and when Todd turns his head to look at Dirk he finds him already watching him. The expression on his face is one Todd can't work out, but he's smiling in a soft, private way, the twinkling of the lights on the tree catching on his hair and reflecting in his eyes and Todd feels almost like-

The music in the film swells, catching Dirk's attention as he looks away to watch the couple on screen kissing. Again. Whatever issue they were having before they seem to have worked it out, picture perfect framed in the doorway under the ever-present mistletoe. It's a stupid thing, cliched and eye-roll inducing, but Dirk has his hand pressed to his mouth and Todd is _pretty_ sure he's tearing up. It makes him wonder what Dirk sees in it that he can't, if maybe he's just too jaded to think that anything could be that easy even when you want it to be.

"Do people _always_ kiss under mistletoe?" Dirk asks, eyes still firmly fixed on the happy couple. "Because _I've_ never seen any."

It's enough to snap Todd out of whatever melancholy pathway his mind was starting to wind down, pulling himself up with a groan as he stretches out his back and wondered how he ever managed to go touring in the back of a van.

"I mean, you're _meant_ to, it's tradition or something. Usually it's just awkward though, you get stuck under it with people you don't like, or someone really creepy just uses it to trap people or whatever. Pretty sure it's banned in workplaces now at least. It's kinda dumb."

Dirk hums, tilting his head and fidgeting his fingers in a way Todd knows to mean he's thinking hard about something while pretending not to. "I think it seems rather nice, as traditions go."

Todd swallows, mouth suddenly dry as he has what might be one of the dumbest ideas he's ever had.

"Yeah. Yeah, maybe." Still, he supposes, ignoring his racing heart, any idea is better than none, and at this point Todd will take what he can get and if it backfires spectacularly then, well. It wouldn’t be the first time. 

He just hopes it doesn’t come to that.

***

Thankfully, Dirk wakes at a reasonable hour. He still bounds into Todd's room without knocking (despite the myriad of conversations they've had about that) and all but drags him out of bed with a demeanour that's _far_ too cheery for Todd to match at this time in the morning, if ever. But a quick glance at his watch tells him it's quarter past ten which- given he was prepared to be woken far earlier than that- isn't too bad all things considered.

Dirk sits perched on the counter while Todd watches the pancake batter bubbling in the pan. He's still sipping at his coffee and rubbing his eyes against the sleep that had lodged there overnight, but Dirk's chatter makes for a nice stream of background noise until he can wake up enough to pay attention to it. Eventually he flips the first pancake out onto a plate, pouring in the second round of batter as he swipes the plate away from nimble, thieving fingers, pointing his spatula in the direction of the faux-innocent puppy eyes he's now being given.

"You'll burn yourself."

Dirk snorts, rolling his eyes dramatically. "Oh _please_ Todd, you say that every time and it hasn't happened yet."

"Yeah, because I _stop_ you."

"Stop me from enjoying the delicious goodness of chocolate chip pancakes, yes."

"I am currently _making_ you chocolate chip pancakes!"

"And forbidding me from eating them! It's _Christmas_ , Todd! Let me have the pancakes!"

Todd fixes him with a look that first came about when Amanda and her friends from school were doing something they shouldn't. It's been enjoying a renaissance recently, but it doesn't seem quite as effective on Dirk. "You can have the pancakes. When they're _finished_."

Dirk groans, thumping his head back against the cabinets but making no further attempts at pancake theft. Todd doesn't drop his guard though, just in case, and eventually they both end up sat at the table with a successful pile of pancakes. Todd watches with disgust as Dirk covers his in chocolate syrup and marshmallows he didn't even know they had, making a start on his own instead and wondering how Dirk could possibly stomach a breakfast any sweeter than it already is.

They eat in relative quiet, something that's developed ever since they've settled down into whatever _this_ is. These days it seems to be that unless they're actively working on a case, Dirk isn't quite so verbose in the mornings. Todd is thankful for it for a number of reasons, not least because it means instead of trying to follow along some wild twisting thought path he's trying to explain, he can take some time just to _be_ , and as it turns out, just _being_ with Dirk is nice.

Still, there's something about watching a grown man in matching snowflake pyjamas eat a stack of marshmallow covered pancakes with a Christmas themed _fork_ of all things, that manages to keep the edge of oddity in Todd's mornings whether they're on a case or not. It makes him feel fond in a way that's becoming increasingly familiar, and he can't bring himself to dislike.

The clattering of cutlery against crockery is what brings him out of his thoughts, Dirk turning a bright grin on him and practically vibrating in his seat with excitement. Todd rolls his eyes, hiding his smile behind the rim of his coffee cup _._

"People usually wait until after dinner for Christmas presents," Todd tells him, not needing Dirk to ask to know what's on his mind. He's rewarded in the way Dirk furrows his brow in obvious annoyance, narrowing his eyes as he tries to work out if Todd is telling the truth or not.

"Well. We _have_ just eaten."

"Not really the same thing."

"It's close enough."

" _Is_ it?"

"Yes!"

"Hmm..."

" _Well_ ," Dirk huffs, affronted. "It's _my_ first Christmas, so I rather think _I_ get to decide when the presents happen. Don't you?"

Todd can't help it, the sheer offense in Dirk's voice at the thought of waiting an extra few hours for presents is enough to break his poker face into a fit of laughter.

"Okay, _okay_. We can do presents," he smiles, pushing the plates aside for later. "But you have to do the dishes after."

"I will do _all_ of the dishes. I will be the _best_ washer of dishes there has ever been! Better than a dish washer! Although I suppose in that case I _am_ the dish washer? Can a dish washer be a person? Do you think the first dish washers had tiny little people with sponges in them to clean the dishes?"

"Nope." Todd stands, stretching out his back and trying to ignore the way his heart has begun to race in his chest at the knowledge of what's coming. He doesn't think he's ever been so terrified of presents before.

"Well, whatever dishwashers are made of, I'll do a better job."

Todd already knows the dishes will be left in a pile and forgotten about by the end of the day, he really should wash up now and try to get ahead of it but Dirk has already dropped down next to the tree, rummaging about in the pile of presents that's mostly for the friends they'll be dropping in on in the next couple of days, until he emerges with a parcel that's been _enthusiastically_ wrapped if nothing else. The paper is red and covered in tiny Christmas trees, and it looks like Dirk has attached every ribbon he could find to it in an overzealous Christmas explosion, and it's both the least surprising thing Todd could have imagined, and something that still manages to baffle him completely.

"This is for you!" Dirk holds the glittering monstrosity out towards him with a grin that Todd knows too well belies his nervousness. He takes it from him with a degree of reverence that he's not sure the situation deserves, eyes flicking between the parcel and Dirk as he picks at the ribbons and tries to suppress the urge to ask what it is.

"Um. Thanks." His palms are sweaty and he doesn't know why he's nervous about _this_ of all things when his own gift has the potential to be one of the stupidest decisions he's ever made, but it feels _important_. It's something that Dirk went and picked out for _him_ , and that makes his heart flip in his chest in a way it hasn't since he was sixteen and holding hands for the first time. If it were anyone else Todd would roll his eyes at himself for it, but it's _Dirk_ , and somehow that makes it feel okay.

"Should I be worried?" He asks with a smile as he untangles the ribbons, setting the pile aside without even trying to make sense of the knots.

"No. But you always are anyway."

The observation makes him laugh, settling the flutter of nerves into something softer with the reassurance that despite his unpredictability, Dirk does actually _know_ him. Enough for it to be special, no matter what it ends up being, and maybe that thought has Todd swallowing down something heavier as he finally undoes the wrapping.

There's a moment where he doesn't quite realise what it is, before he reaches out to touch the soft leather he finds there. Todd has seen plenty of leather jackets in his time, but he knows Dirk's better than perhaps even his own from back in the day, and this is...

He doesn't say anything as he lifts it out, a bright red that still manages to be a little more understated than a shade that Dirk would pick for himself. The bands on the arm, he realises suddenly, match to the green one that Dirk likes to wear on Thursdays, when it rains, or when he's feeling the need to be 'cool' (not that Todd has ever worked out what that means to Dirk.) It's nothing Todd would ever pick for himself, not only is it more than he'd ever spend on himself in one go, it's also not a colour he would have dared to go for if he'd seen it in a store, but somehow it's perfect in a way that he couldn't possibly have predicted.

"It's... the same. As mine. I mean it's _smaller_ , obviously, and it has another little secret pocket inside because you can never have too many secret pockets, and. Well. I don't have anything like your band t-shirt to give you, but I thought maybe if this is my _thing_ , then you could also have a thing that's _part_ of my thing. And that might be kind of the same."

Todd can feel himself smiling, the soft, small kind it's rare to pull out of him and for a moment he's glad he's partially hidden behind the jacket he's still holding up.

"And we match?" he asks, the question too light for the weight in his voice.

"Well yes, the matching is a bonus."

He finally lets the jacket down, pooling it in his lap and smoothing out the creases as he smiles. "It's perfect."

"Oh. Do you think so?" Dirk looks both relieved and elated all at once, it's doing nothing to stop Todd's grin. "I wasn't sure you'd like it, being as you're so averse to colour and all."

"I'm not averse to colour! I just... don't think a lot of it suits me."

"This one will," Dirk promises with the same kind of air he has when he brings up his hunches. "Trust me."

Todd's cheeks are warm, possibly as red as the jacket itself as he clears his throat. "Don't think I didn't notice we'll be matching in Christmas colours."

Dirk gasps. "Will we? My, what a _coincidence_! It's funny how the universe does that, isn't it?"

"Oh sure, the universe." It's dripping with sarcasm, but he lets him have it all the same. For a moment he just sits, smoothing out the lines on the jacket with his hands and trying not to think too hard about what it all means lest he start crying in the middle of Christmas morning.

"I uh," he starts, reaching round to pull out his own gift. Smaller than Dirk's, but wrapped incredibly neatly in a way that likely gives away how often he's wrapped gifts before. "I got you something too."

"Oh?" Dirk asks, like he wasn't expecting it even though Todd knows full well he'd been snooping around ever since Todd got back from his impromptu shopping trip.

"Yeah. I-" he holds onto the box like he can stop it from existing by sheer force of will if he just doesn't give it to him. "It's uh-" it feels silly now, is the thing. And he has no idea if he's more terrified that it won't be received well, or what happens if it is. "I didn't really know what to get you? So I just kind of... I don't know. I had a thought and- here."

He holds the box out awkwardly, rubbing at the back of his neck and ignoring just how flushed his face feels.

"Oh don't worry! I don't think you could get me anything that isn't perfect," Dirk grins as he takes it. He shakes it first, turning it over in his hands like he can discern what's inside it that way, before eventually he gives up and tears the sparkling paper down the middle.

There's a small brown box inside, and Dirk frowns at it for a moment as he lifts the lid, tilting his head in confusion at the contents.

"It's..." he can see the moment when what it is he's seeing clicks in Dirk's head, sees the way his eyes go wide and his tongue darts out for the briefest second to wet his lips. "Oh."

"I- I mean. I just thought... you wanted to try all the traditions, right? And this one is... I know you think it's- cute, or whatever so I just thought... I mean, you don't have to obviously it's just-"

"Romantic." Dirk interrupts, having switched at some point during his rambling from staring at the gift to staring at Todd.

"What?"

"I didn't say I thought it was cute. I said I thought it was _romantic_."

"I..." Todd swallows heavily, he's never been good with the kind of weight Dirks scrutiny is carrying behind it being focused on him. "Yeah. Yeah, you did. I guess."

For a moment Dirk just watches him carefully, analysing in that way he does sometimes that Todd never knows what to make of, before he seems to settle on something that makes the corner of his mouth turn up into a pleased little smile.

"You know," he starts in a tone of voice that Todd knows means trouble, "this is all _very_ new to me, I might require some assistance with remembering how this particular tradition goes."

And Todd, despite himself, feels his heart trip like it's the first time anyone has ever vaguely suggested kissing to him. "Yeah?" it shows in his voice, he knows it does, and a part of him wishes he had a better handle on this, but considering who he's gone and fallen head over heels for like an idiot, he can only hope it doesn't matter.

"Mm," and for all Dirk is playing it cool there's a lovely pink flush creeping over his nose as he holds the mistletoe up above his head. "I think it starts like this, doesn't it?"

Jesus. It's so stupid. He's so stupid. _They're_ so stupid.

Todd still feels like it might just kill him.

"Yeah. I mean, usually it's hung up somewhere but- yeah. That uh, that works."

"Good!" Dirk fidgets, the redness creeping up his ears now and how they've managed to get this far is anyone's guess. "And ah- I think I might already know, but if you wouldn't mind reminding me I would certainly appreciate it. New things and all that, they're easy to forget, especially when you don't want to get it wrong- with it being my first and all. Christmas! First Christmas, not the other bit. That's not-"

Todd finds out very quickly that there is in fact a rather successful way to shut Dirk Gently up.

For a moment Dirk freezes, and despite everything Todd panics that maybe he's read this all wrong, but it only takes a second before he's melting into it, wrapping his arms around Todd's neck like he's afraid he'll run off if he gives him half a chance.

It's sweet, the faintest hint of chocolate left on their tongues, the soft press of Dirk's mouth against his that's gentle but insistent all the same. The reassuring warmth of a body close to his, and the sparkle of the lights that catch in his eyes when they finally pull apart just far enough to rest their heads together.

"Um. Merry Christmas?" Todd offers softly, breaking the silence that had settled between them, and being rewarded with the sight of Dirk's delighted laughter up close.

"The best so far," Dirk agrees in a way that makes Todd roll his eyes in response.

"The only one you've had so far."

"Mm, but I think I did get the best Christmas present there's ever been." He tightens his hold just a little to pull Todd in closer, and Todd can't find it in himself to disagree.

"I'm... glad you liked it."

Dirk shakes his head, leaning in to steal another quick kiss from him. "It's ingenious really," he says, kissing the tip of Todd's nose. "I'll never run out!"

And that's enough to send Todd into his own fit of giggles, relieved as he is with warmth blooming in his chest in a way he hasn't felt in a long time.

"Yeah well, they're good for as long as you want them."

Dirk catches Todd's jaw in his hand, tilts his head up so they're eye to eye. His smile is delighted and endearingly hopeful. "Promise?"

"Yeah," Todd agrees, clearing his throat against the well of emotion rising up, thinking about all of the ways this could have gone, and how in the end it turned out perfectly. "Yeah, I promise."

Later, when they’re both half asleep curled around each other on the sofa, and Todd is picking confetti out of Dirk’s hair, he’ll wonder why he was ever worried about it going any other way

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this chapter please leave a comment! It's pretty much the only kind of payment I get for this so you know, that'd be cool of you <3
> 
> You can catch me at [kieren-fucking-walker](http://kieren-fucking-walker.tumblr.com/) on tumblr if you want to yell at me/talk to me about Dirk Gently/generally freak out over these two idiots.
> 
> Hopefully I'll see you around, and thanks for reading! Happy New Year, wonderful people! Stay safe <3


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